Taking Charge Of Your Responses In Close Relationships

In relationships with your loved ones, when looking at the other, sometimes
positive emotions are generated and sometimes negative. On the one hand,
joy, love and happiness is generated on being with them; but then
attachment, dependency and expectations are generated. *In such situations,
you are more focused on others and are always looking at the other person's
behavior, you stop seeing yourself and being aware of your reactions and
taking the responsibility for the responses that you create.* You get
frustrated when the other person does not meet your expectations. As you
depend on them, if they don't act as you would like, if they don't reach
home or call you at the time you would like; all this frustrates you. You
radiate this energy to the other: "they are not doing what they should be
doing," and so you feel frustrated and discontented.

All the while that you hold the other one responsible for your frustration,
you are not in charge of your own reactions, because you have given power
to the other to dominate your emotional world. It is there that you lose
your freedom. *You lose your freedom because you give to the other, in the
name of love, power over your own moods.* You allow the others' energy to
enter your inner world and cause inside you *frustration, bad moods,
irritation, sorrow and a mental and emotional dependence* where you are
constantly thinking about where they are, what they have to do, what they
have to say, where they have to go, and all this consumes a lot of your
mental energy. Wanting to control the other and the frustration that it
brings with it uses up a lot of emotional energy.