‘Negative Control’ And ‘Positive Influence’

*The power of influence in relationships is extraordinary, but it
practically disappears when we try to exercise control and force. *

You can influence anyone positively in many ways:

   - *encouraging,*
   - *sharing,*
   - *listening, *
   - *communicating in the right way.  *

 In *‘negative control’* we generate stress, frustration and anger. In
*‘positive
influence’ *the energy flows in a relaxed way with harmony and is not
threatening, respecting each one for their specialty and allowing each one
to be as they are.

In order to influence positively we need the power of discrimination and
judgement in relation to what to say and what to do e.g. when you believe
that the other person is the problem; generally the problem is not what
others say or do, but rather how you perceive them. The way that you judge
is what creates your negative feelings about them.
*We have the choice to perceive others as a threat, as a problem, or as an
opportunity*; an opportunity for learning, for change, for dialogue and
understanding. We can choose to have compassion (kindness); to feel that the
other is a problem indicates a lack of compassion.